Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Top 5 Really Shitty Yet Ultimately Awesome Chick Songs

So, tonight, it's 1:47am, and I'm curled up in bed eating candy corn, watching chick flicks. I just finished Whip It, now I'm halfway through He's Just Not That Into You, and next I think I might watch 10 Things I Hate About You. Any judgement? I don't give a shit. And so here is my list of Top 5 Chick Songs. PS - I'm completely aware that these songs are balls. Absolute balls.

5. "Supermodel" - JILL SOBULE

This is entirely my opinion, remember. In fact there may be chicks out there that don't know this song - at least, anyone that hasn't seen a film from the 90s. There is a time and a place for chick flick songs: in isolated circumstances, this song can either be really shit or really rad. In the car on the way to work? Fuck off, Jill Sobule. In the lounge after 2 shots and a vodka tonic? FUCK YEAH, JILL SOBULE!

4. "Livin' on a Prayer" - BON JOVI

This song usually kicks off a party night, but I don't know a single male that actually likes this song. I know, sure, guys will be like, "yeah I like Bon Jovi, it's a good song, whatever", but seriously, do you actually like the song? If you're making a compilation CD to listen to in your car, do you put this one on it? Or is this song reservered solely for when you're having a party and you're hoping a girl will get on your table and sing this song, loudly and badly? Hence, chick song.

3. "Pour Some Sugar On Me" - DEF LEPPARD

I KNOOOOW this is Def Leppard, the heavy metal pub rock English legends, but there is no denying that this song is played primarily while hot chicks in cowboy boots are dancing on a bar pouring shots of bourbon into the mouths of semi-attractive business men. And it's never good bourbon, either. But the song itself is pretty good.

2. "Just a Girl" - NO DOUBT

What happened to Gwen Stefani? At first she was a pretty good poster girl for pop rock, and No Doubt put out a couple of good songs... from that one album... But then she became this pop princess, strutting around in her clothes, singing about being a hollaback girl. I mean, what the fuck is a hollaback girl? What happened? Ignoring all of that, however, this song is acceptable.

1. "Bad Reputation" - JOAN JETT

Joan Jett is like a gateway drug. A gateway rocker, if you will. I started listening to her when I was 15 (probably this song, in fact, and if I'm completely honest it's probably because I heard it on movies like 10 Things) and it opened up my world to other chick rockers. I was in a band from age 15 through 17, lead singer and bassist, and I idolised chicks like Joan Jett, Brody Dalle, Morgan Lander etc. And now that I'm older and wiser, I know that bands The Distillers and Kittie are... kinda shit. But Joan Jett and the Heartbreakers have always been good.

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