Sunday, October 9, 2011

Top 5 Songs of the Zombie Apocalypse

Pick your weapon, mode of transport and soundtrack for the zombie apocalypse. I like this debate, because when you know what someone wants to sing while brutally killing someone, then you truly find out what kind of person they are.

5. ROB ZOMBIE - "DRAGULA"


Weapon: Machine gun
Mode of Transport: Jeep

This song needs to be played while driving really fast through a mass of zombies, firing madly into the crowd while trying to escape. Get the adrenaline pumping, y'know?

I think that's all Rob Zombie is for. Not the slaying zombies, but the pumping adrenaline thing. I mean, I can't think of a single time that I put on Rob Zombie because I wanted to listen to it, but because I was going out or doing something that required me to get pumped in a certain way. Like, pre-gig kinda thing. You know what I mean. His music is very Stage Challenge, don't you think?

4. JOHNNY CASH - "AIN'T NO GRAVE"



Weapon: Grenades
Mode of Transport: None

This song is kind of the end-of-the-battle, giving up song that plays for the guy who stays behind as bait, then explodes himself rather than submitting himself to an afterlife of brain-feasting.

I like the sombre tone of Cash's American albums. They're miserable and full of regret, and his voice sings pain so well. I know that doesn't make the songs sound too appealing, but they fit together so well that his songs are despondently beautiful.

3. DANZIG - "THIRTEEN"


Weapon: Desert Eagle
Mode of Transport: Motorcycle

I know I could only pull off the DEagle/Motorcycle look if this song were playing and if I were perhaps 4 - 5 times sexier. But my god, it's what I'm aspiring for. Riding through the desert, pulling off at abandoned gas stations looking for supplies, killing zombies and acting like such a badass that the survivors I run into know not to ask me to stay with them. I'm a lone wolf. Outlaw. Milla Jovovich.

But yeah, Danzig are cool. Even though they spawned from the same mind that spawned the Misfits (such a shitty band IMO), I am willing to overlook that fact because I can embrace the idea of a musician "growing". If Danzig was Glenn Danzig in his adulthood, the Misfits were him in his adolescence, when he was stealing his parents' ciggies and getting in trouble at school for trying to give his mate a tattoo with a compass.

2. LED ZEPPELIN - "IMMIGRANT SONG"



Weapon AND Mode of Transport: MO'FUCKIN TANK

Man, that shit would just be awesome. Ridin' a tank through zombies with Zeppelin cranking through the speakers. Do tanks have speakers? This tank would have fucking speakers. The only thing that would beat it would be having some Wagner playing.

1. MANOWAR - "KILL WITH POWER"


Weapon: Machete
Mode of Transport: My own two feet. Or a horse, if possible.

Yeah, so, I'm gonna run head first into those bitches with my machete and slice at their necks while screaming at the top of my lungs, "KILL WITH POWER!! DIE, DIE!!" I can't really imagine a better way to go. 'Cos yeah, if I'm left on my feet, I'm just gonna die. I'm not swift.

I always forget how much I love this album until I put it on. I claim Gods of War or Louder than Hell to be my favourite Manowar albums (yes, I love Manowar, what of it?), but Hail to England is pretty genius as well. "Army of the Immortals" would be a good zombie song too... hmmm...

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